Monday, 29 October 2012

Checking In :)

Hello all! Just checking in to let you all know I'm still here, no calls for transplant yet but still keeping the faith that it will happen sooner rather than later preferably lol.

I'm still rather under the weather, not just CF wise, I also just seem to have this constant cold which won't go away, I'm very bunged up, coughing a lot and I'm still having problems with my tonsils being swollen. My temperature is all over the place, one minute I'm freezing cold, the next I'm sweating buckets, so annoying.

CF wise - I'm in a serious amount of pain with my lungs and joints because I have a very nasty infection, I feel completely full of phlegm (sorry) I feel like I'm drowning, so difficult to take a breath in and then the pain strikes and it's equally as hard breathing out. It's worse when I lay down.
Today I was extremely poorly, I woke up coughing so much I had to do extra treatments, so unbelievably breathless and sore I just couldn't even function. I'm on 3 IV's still and it just doesn't seem to be helping at all really. I went to clinic last week and they were literally begging me to go in but I can't face going in at the moment, for personal reasons.
I know when I need to go in and as long as I have Josh here looking after me, I don't need to be looked after by a nurse, but I'm not stupid or naive, I know if I NEED to go and yes, I'm very ill, but I'm coping, we are coping just fine at the moment, if things change I'll go in, as for now - I'm staying put!

Anyway, I've also broken my wrist :( I fell down the stairs and as I have osteoporosis my chance of breaking bones are higher, but with my pain tolerance being quite high I didn't go to A&E until about 4 days later and alas I've broken a small bone on my inner wrist, it's very painful and it's my right hand which is just typical, you don't realise how much you use your hands until you can't.

Finally, just want to say I have 0 energy, I sleep probably about 15 hours of the day now I just don't seem to be able to keep my eyes open, I'm completely exhausted in every sense of the word but the hours I am awake I've been doing a lot of reading, I have iBooks and the Kindle app and the free books are actually really good, I have paid for a few books to read and I'm really enjoying it, I've definitely got the reading bug - better than my 'cold bug' hah!!
Want to end on again more good news, my weight is still fantastic, this clinic appointment I saw my dietician and she said she's no longer going to see me every appointment now and I only need to be seen if I request!!!! Never did I ever think I'd see the day my weight was acceptable enough that they'd get off my back, it really was the best acolade of my weight gain, I'm over 50kgs now and I'm finally over 8 stone the highest I've ever been, prior to that my highest weight was 7 stone 3, so this is massive thing for me!!

I need to stop writing now because not only do I have very little to say, but also typing with my broken wrist is not fun! OUCH!!

Just have two little photos to add (although I look like rubbish in both lol!) it's my and my lovely nephew Keaton (my sister + her partners son) and my niece (Josh's brother + girlfriends daughter) Maisie, who were both born within about 3 weeks of each other, so got two lovely little babies to love and spoil!

Thank you for reading :)

Me and gorgeous bubby Keaton xx

Me (looking really bad lol) with gorgeous, little Maisie xx

Wednesday, 10 October 2012

Long Overdue Update x

I'm sorry I haven't blogged in about 2 months, I've been extremely poorly with my CF healthwise but I've also had this horrid cold which has knocked me for six, I'm still suffering from it and feeling like poo, on top of being ill too grr lol. I have barely been on facebook much at all so there haven't been many updates on me lately, I'm sleeping a lot more than ever before as I'm just so incredibly weak, it's like my body just wants to give up, I've had a couple of literally 'near death experiences' where it didn't look like I'd pull through, but there is always something in the back of my mind saying I can't go yet, it's not my time. Something seems to work because I do pull through, but I don't know how many more of these extreme set-backs my poor weak body and failing lungs can take.

It's been a tough time lately, my emotions have been more up and down than a rollercoaster. I lost a good friend, just 15 years old, who was waiting for new lungs that never came in time.

My sister gave birth to my little nephew Keaton and that was great and cuddling him and spending lots of time loving him picked me up, but at the same time, made me wonder if Josh and I will ever have our own child, we have our pups they are our babies but will I ever be a Mummy? I was told by my transplant co-ordinator if everything is going smoothly after transplant, although it is still a risk, about 2-3 years later we could try to start a family, it's just everything is always hanging in the balance, will I, won't I, if I don't get a transplant it's never going to happen.

Then my brother in law (Josh's bro + his girlfriend) also gave birth to a little girl Maisie, so surrounded by newborn babies at the moment!

I only like to update my blog when I have something to talk about or positive news, but I've been a bit down emotionally and on top of that I am feeling very poorly. I believe my last blog was me starting NIV which never happened because my hospital doesn't seem to have any communication! So still fighting to get that.

If you'd like to keep more updated on my situation when I'm not blogging you can join my transplant group on facebook the link is here : Kerry's Transplant Group or it's also at the side of my blog, over there somewhere >>>

Sorry for the very long delay in blogging, I've certainly had writers block and I've been writing quite a lot of 'private' blogs which I will hopefully publish sometime soon, but for now I don't feel the time is right.

Oh the good news - I finally hit my target goal weight of 50kgs! I was thrilled and cried with happiness, I just seem to keep on going and going, although with this cold I have nasty tonsilitus so I'm not eating as much, just soft foods lol. And also, the pups turned 1 on the 25th September, we had a mini doggy party, it was a lot of fun and just a great reason to get all the family round for fun :) had a fab time, although extremely exhausting! Thank god they only have a birthday once a year :P

Finally, I have my flu jab on Saturday which I'm not looking forward to as I always seem to go a bit under the weather after the jab and at the moment with this rubbish cold, I don't know how much more under the weather I can go!!! We will see, going to Pap on Friday for emergency clinic hoping to add in another strong IV so I can knock this nasty bug on the head, because to be honest I've had enough thank youuuu, lol!

Sorry for the lack of blogging and as I said, feel free to become a member of my group, I update it a lot more regularly at the moment than I do my blog and not just CF/Transplant things, also put general life and funny picures on there, of me, the pups, etc.

I hope you are well and thank you for the continued support to everyone who had sent concerned emails, wondering if I'd disappeared off the face of the Earth lol.
Lots of love