Monday, 31 December 2012

Guest Blog : Josh - The Last Two Years, In My Words

Hi Everyone, it's Josh, Kerry's Fiancé !

Kerry’s often said in the past that I should write a blog and I’ve always tried to put it off by telling her I really wouldn’t know what to write about. Although I find it very easy to talk to everyone in public, whether friends or complete strangers, it’s a totally different situation if you’ve got to effectively write to yourself, about yourself and more awkwardly about your own feelings, but as a late Christmas present to Kerry I thought I should give it a go..

A word of warning ... Please don’t expect it to be anything close to the blogs that Kerry seamlessly manages to rattle off but bear with me and I’ll give it my best shot!

Firstly I should probably start with the reason I feel compelled to write this in the first place! 

As I’m sure you're all aware we are literally praying for the phone to ring and for it to be Harefield letting us know a set of lungs have been found for Kerry. Until now, “sitting by the phone” has just been a phrase that I’ve used to describe the situation we find ourselves in as there have always been other things happening in my life, such as caring for Kerry, looking after our two gorgeous puppies (they’re actually 14 months old now but they’ll always be “The Pups” in our eyes), trying to enjoy Christmas and just generally attempting to keep Kerry’s hopes up - although to be honest any of you that’s reading this whose sent messages of support for Kerry do a pretty good job of that on your own!  But as I sit here writing this (2.54am on New Years Eve morning) I have found myself watching, no literally staring at the phone (to the point where your eyes glaze over and you have to refocus) for the last 45 minutes trying to convince myself that tonight is the night.

Back in early December Kerry had her 6 month transplant assessment where Dr. Carby and the rest of the fabulous transplant team at Harefield felt in necessary to “place her at the top of the list for her size and blood type” as they could visible see the decline her health has taken over the last 6 months. Amongst all the relief I felt at being given this news, as it finally seemed as though we were getting somewhere, I must admit I had hoped we would have had the call by now.  I totally appreciate that Dr. Carby couldn’t guarantee anything but the way he spoke suggested he hoped it would be days/weeks rather than months, and from then on I’ve had visions of spending Christmas in Harefield (that’s now passed) and then failing that, New Years Eve in Harefield (with 20 hours to go they’d better get a move on!!), but with the days and nights passing quicker and quicker, Kerry’s health has declined even more rapidly since Christmas day, so much so that I felt it necessary to notify the transplant team of the decline the other day. In a way I suppose it was a last ditch attempt try and hurry things along, although I know there is NOTHING that either Harefield or I can do but wait!! (... It’s now 3.13am... still no call Harefield!!).

In the lead up to Christmas Kerry knew the call for transplant was essential, due to her very low lung function (8%) and her more frequent bouts of respiratory arrest, which is where her lungs and body essential tell Kerry they're giving up and for a short period of time the lungs stop working. She still somehow finds the inner strength to battle back and pull through them, however they are now becoming more frequent and increasingly harder for her to survive which I have admit worries me that the next one might be her last. Ideally prior to Christmas she had still hoped and predicted the call would come on the 27th/28th so that those looking down on her would let her enjoy her Christmas with the family and then let her look forward to next year’s with a new set of lungs, running around playing party games, putting the decorations up and even simpler than that, walking to the toilet unassisted after she had had a little bit too much to drink. All the things that you and I take for granted were merely pipe dreams for Kerry this Christmas day, but perhaps delaying her hope for the call was her way of coping with the situation?!

As I mentioned previously, Christmas day has come and gone and so have the last few ounces of energy and adrenaline that Kerry had gained from the festive period. She’s spent the last 3 days in her bed with DVDs on repeat, resting with her breathing machine on, sleeping, coughing, turning, coughing, eating, sleeping  ... before I begin to sound like a Coca Cola advert I’m sure you get the idea. For anyone that’s followed Kerry’s decline she may (or may not) have mentioned in the past that she could really do with a new set of lungs, well now SHE REALLY REALLY COULD DO WITH A NEW SET OF LUNGS!!

I can assure you there would be no one more prouder of Kerry than me if she got the call, even if it wasn't to go ahead, for the simple reason that this has been a far from perfect passage to transplant and for Kerry to have got to this point alone it’s been an extremely tough and exhausting journey for her!

Two years ago I was sat next to Kerry in one of the consultant’s rooms a Papworth Hospital for a “routine” clinic check up. It was then that they made us aware that they felt Kerry was at that point a million miles away from being listed for transplant, even though her lung function of 23% and general quality of life made her more than eligible to be assessed. Kerry’s BMI was 13% (32Kgs) but as Kerry’s weight had NEVER been anywhere near to what they would class as a “healthy BMI” of 18.5% they suggested the better option to take would be to make things “comfortable” for her rather than taking on the almost impossible task (in their eyes!!) of getting to the target weight that was required of around 44Kgs (approx 7.4stonne) whilst so unwell. If anything this was possibly the best (and worst) thing they could have said as it spurred Kerry (and myself) on to proving she was able to reach the weight required! If you’re one of Kerry’s “groupies” as I like to call you I’m sure you’re aware of how determined and stubborn Kerry is and if anything I can be even stubborner (if it’s not a word it should be!!), which makes for some quite interesting “debates” in our house if we both think we’re right about something, but that’s another story :)

Since that day the weight increase has been extremely hard to come by but there are a couple defining factors that I feel eventually helped Kerry on her way to absolutely smash her target weight of 44Kgs, as she now finds herself tipping the scales at 53Kgs (just over 8stonne) with a lung function of only 8%;

Firstly starting a "wonder drug" in our eyes known as Megacestrol (Megace), which is actually a drug used to treat breast cancer, but one of its side effects is a vast increase in appetite which therefore lead to Kerry being far more adventurous with her foods and the amount that she ate. Annoyingly this was also something she had to fight to be given as her consultants didn’t feel that enough research had been done into the drug to enable them to prescribe it to Kerry, but after quite a struggle and due to the fact that Kerry and I were so "strong minded about getting it as we wouldn't leave without it" (their words) it was given to her and has since been prescribed to other patients at Papworth that have needed to same helping hand.

Secondly lowering her stress and anxiety levels seemed to help a lot due to the assistance of specific drugs and also when I gave up my job to become her full time carer, as previous to that I had been leaving her alone in the day whilst I went to work which didn’t suit her at all as her health was declining and normal day-to-day tasks such as getting up and down the stairs were becoming a struggle. 

Of course there were other factors that helped such as nailing her diabetes and getting her blood sugars under control. But there were also many bumps along the way too such as when they tried fitting Kerry with a feeding tube to "speed up" the process, even though we had told them it wouldn't work due to her milk allergies, and surprise surprise, she vomited away all the hard work she'd put in and the weight that she had gained up to that point in the space of a weekend. She did then experiment with soya based feeds but eventually it was decided it was not the right way to go and ironically since her feeding tube has been removed her weight has ballooned (a little light humour for those of you that know how feeding tubes work). So after that whistle stop tour of the last two years we find ourselves here today with Kerry having been on the transplant list approaching 8 months ... THAT SAME LIST THAT MANY THOUGHT SHE WOULD POSSIBLY NEVER BE ON... and waiting by this phone WHICH STILL HASN'T MADE A SOUND ... (at 3.50am!)

I think that’s probably enough from me for the time being, personally I’m quite impressed but please accept my apologies if you feel the last few moments of your life have been wasted whilst reading my rambling attempt at writing a blog!

I hope to be the bearer of some fantastically amazingly sensational news very soon so keep an eye on her Facebook page but in the mean time, from myself, Kerry and “The Pups” we hope you have a Happy New Year and if you get a moment perhaps you could raise a glass tonight to hoping for a successful outcome for Kerry!!

Josh xxx

Saturday, 22 December 2012

I Have Made It! (to Christmas) and more...

I'm never one to tempt fate but I thought it was probably safe for me to blog now. Those of you who don't know, I had the flu, this flu then turned into pneumonia. I had a lung function of 12%. This started around the beginning of November and after a very frank, honest clinic appointment I was told this could be the end of the road for me, pneumonia and flu (particularly in Winter) are extremely dangerous for people with CF, but even more so for those waiting for transplants or who have low lung function, I check all those boxes and I knew once I had these it was the worst possible news. The only thing I had to cling onto was the fact I was still on the transplant list, however, due to said evil bugs I had very high temperatures, around 40 degrees, high infection levels and low oxygen levels, I was warned by my CF consultant if I was called for a transplant I could be deemed unsuitable for transplant as high temps and high infection levels (CRP) are big contributing factors when they are deciding if the transplant will go ahead or not. So that glimmer of hope I had about getting my new lungs had vanished, I was down in the dumps and petrified however my hope was restored at my 6 month transplant appointment. The transplant Dr told me as I was so poorly, I am on deaths doorstep basically, so unless my temp and CRP were completely unbelievably bad, I would definitely be transplanted because I'm going to die anyway, so why not take the risk, it was very reassuring to hear that I'm still eligible for transplant and not too sick, they asked if I wanted to be admitted into Harefield and wait for my transplant, as I'd been placed on the urgent list  (yes, it could happen any minute now!!) anyway, I was also offered ECMO which is a machine that would keep me alive and is used as a bridge to transplant for those as sick as I am, however, Christmas is a very special time of year where I want to be with my loved ones, eating copious amounts of food and enjoying Xmas at home, I've never been in hospital over Christmas and unless it was for transplant I didn't plan on starting this year! Stubborn, old, determined me :) of course once all the fun and festivities are over I may consider going in if my call hasn't come by then of course! Christmas can wait if it means I'm getting new lungs!

Of course I'm extremely sick, my lung function has come down to just 8% which is about 0.25 L considering there is 0.33L in a can of coke, I'm barely functioning on anything at all, but and this was the main reason for blogging. I'm still alive! I was told in clinic that day almost 2 months ago by my expert CF consultant there was a chance I wouldn't make it to Christmas, also Josh and I were advised it was time to have our quick, plan B wedding - but this made me all the more motivated to get to Xmas. We did make arrangements though and decided to have a Christmas month, Josh and I have basically given each other our gifts throughout the month just in case I didn't make it to Christmas day, but I think it's now finally safe to say, I've made it :) its the 22nd December now, so just 3 days to go, this is why I started the blog about not wanting to tempt fate but 3 days, I've survived 2 months I can last another 3 days.

During this time I have had a few respiratory arrests which are extremely scary, I've stared death in the face each time I have one of these arrests, like a heart attack but of the lungs, I basically stop breathing, go blue, oxygen levels drop and it's just generally very scary and a traumatic thing to go through. The last 3 have been extremely serious though and even more difficult because my body is weak from the evil bugs, my failing lungs are exhausted and I'm totally incapable of bringing myself out of these arrests now, I had about 5 but I would make it through, scary but I got through them, now with such a low lung capacity and very little strength left in my body, fighting my way out is very hard. Without the help of breathing machines, very high flow rates of oxygen and a sheet battle of will and determination I have got through them, the last one I had was about 5 days ago and I honestly thought that was the end for me, I thought yes the doctors were right I won't make it to Christmas, my time has come, but somehow, I got through it and I'm obviously relieved however I'm now extremely scared, I mean petrified, if it happens again because this time, I might not be so lucky. Just keeping everything crossed my call and my perfect set of shiny, brand-new lungs come before another attack.

So I just want to say, I made it to Xmas despite medical professional opinions, as I said they just make me more determined to outlive whatever expected date they give me, I've baffled them many times (particularly with my weight) why not baffle them again, 12% lung function and a weight of 54kgs + pneumonia and flu = 8% lung function and 53kgs, I have managed to stay stable weight wise, yes my lung function has dropped but as long as there is still 1% in my lungs, I will use it to fight my not-so-little butt off and continue fighting CF, awaiting my call and living in hope not fear !

Thank you to everyone for the overwhelming support, the lovely messages, comments, emails, status dedications etc. if you in anyway have thought about me lately - thank you. It could've been thanks to all your thoughts and positivity that pulled me through my last respiratory arrest. Thank you Thank you Thank you! Every single message however long or short, means so much to me and puts a huge smile on my face and keeps that little sparkle in my eyes sparkling, the beat in my heart beating and the breath in my lungs breathing.
I love you all, have a fantastic Christmas everyone and I hope you get everything you dream of and more :) I really hope my next blog will be saying I have received my transplant. If not it will probably be me blabbing on about Christmas :) I am still very poorly and I'm still living on a knife edge, but I'm going to try my best to enjoy Christmas, as morbid as it sounds, it could very easily be my last, but I'm hoping it's my last with these dying lungs and not my last living. Next year I hope I can look back at this post and use it as future comparison, to see how great transplant is and what a miracle it can be.
I've said it so many times but seriously, please if you haven't already, please consider being an organ donor by signing up to the donor register. I need a miracle right now, I need a hero - One day, you could be that miracle, you could be somebodies hero, what better legacy to leave behind than that.
Sign The Donor Register

Thank you for reading and have a very Merry Christmas.

Thursday, 13 December 2012

One Step Forward. 10 Steps Back (FB Update)

I'm sorry I don't have the energy to write a blog, but thought I would copy my Facebook update regarding a very bad night I had two nights ago:

Hi Guys, thought I should update you all - I had an extremely bad night, I had one of my 'breathing attacks' where I just stop breathing. Think that this is all still part of my pneumonia but also my very poor lungs, my temperature was very high and my sats were low despite being on 6L of oxygen (maximum my concentrator goes to)

I'm so poorly and so scared right now I shouldn't even be here now,

 I should've died last night, I'm so thankful I had something helping me get through last night. But I know if it happens again I don't know if I can pull through it because I'm extremely weak and as a result of last night, I am so tired, extremely sore - my lungs hurt, my ribs, joints, headaches, swollen throat from extreme coughing, just pain everywhere.

I think my lips may have gone blue too which points to respiratory arrest (like a cardiac arrest - heart attack but of the lungs) I know if I'd called an ambulance they would have put a ventilator tube down my throat and as I am so unwell and weak I probably would not have been able to come off it and therefore I would have been taken off the transplant list, left in intensive care on a vent with no clue what to do other than be made comfortable and left with nothing, no transplant and no hope.
So poor Josh was in such a predicament but thankfully when my machines kicked in and saved me last night, eventually my oxygen levels came up, my temp came down and once I began to relax and calm down I settled. Although I have very little idea of what the hell exactly happened to me, poor Josh had to go through that but it was so hard for me but somehow, someway, something, pulled me through. The fact I'm here now typing this to you is a miracle in itself because I probably should be dead now - sorry to be so blunt, but I'm just being very honest!

In part of that honesty, I will admit I'm trying really hard to stay strong and keep positive, not just for me and my own peace of mind, but I am trying to stay strong for everyone around me, I never want people to worry about me and I like people to think I'm very strong and always positive but nights like last night really rock the boat and I've got to restore faith in my body and my self again, it's so difficult and scary but I will get back to the positive, happy, self-assured Kerry once last night is just a distant memory.

My lung function today was at best 8% which is so so poor, about 100mls less air than a can of coke can hold lol (hey at least I can laugh about it!!!) I wanted it to be wrong cos that's bad 8% is very, very rubbish lol!!

I Just need them lungs now, I don't care about Christmas anymore I just want to live, if it means being in Harefield for Christmas, so be it because truthfully I don't know how long my little weak body can keep going, come on Harefield!!

Just wanted you all to know what happened and if this makes you do one thing, sign up to become an organ donor. Someday, you could save the life of someone like mine.
Please be some oldies hero.
> Sign Up To Become A Donor Here <

Many people don't understand why I am at home with this, the reason is I want to pass away comfortably at home, everyone understands this - my cf team and my transplant team although there is always the option for me to go in if I want to, but for now I don't want to go in. It's the absolute last place I want to be (unless it's for transplant) so here is a comment I left on that Facebook update, here is the comment:

I'm so thrilled to hear from someone who also wants to be at home for 'the end' I've been told I might not make it to this Xmas also and I've been saying yes I will, I will not die, but then last night came and for that duration I thought maybe they were right  but now tonight I'm living to tell the tale and I'm alive, at home, comfortable, where I want to be. So many people tell me to go into hospital, or ask why do I not call an ambulance so I'm really happy to hear someone who feels the same way I do!! Being in hospital for me is not a peaceful, resting, relaxing place I have severe anxieties and panic attacks away from home, so I just hate being there unless completely necessary like at the beginning of this year, I had 3 lung collapses and needed chest drains so had no choice, but anyway I also have great difficulty sleeping and getting no sleep in hospital is awful, also hate the food lol, my hosp is 1.30 hours away from home so don't get visitors all the time, hence the anxieties etc, but yes regarding having pneumonia, the flu with 8% lung function, I should be in hospital but I have my fiancé as my full time carer doing literally everything for me, I just rest, rest and rest some more eating nice food and the same treatment as in hospital, I'm on 3 strong ivs and heaps of pain meds, better care, much more than I would in hosp, unless I have one on one nursing in itu or something... 

However I don't mind being in hospital if it's for transplant, in fact I will be jumping and running to Harefield *metaphorically speaking* I can't even walk, let alone jump haha! So thanks again to everyone for your messages but just one little thing - please, don't tell me to go into hospital lol. I know when I need intervention, Harefield know my situation and are basically on standby to be ambulanced there should I require Ecmo treatment or if I choose to wait for my lungs there I just have to call but currently this is where I want to be, on my sofa with my gorgeous, lovely amaaaaazing fiancé Josh, my puppies and my family all 2 minutes away  So as for my cf centre or going to my local hospital, it's a firm no lol I'm being taken care of, made comfortable and given the right meds etc by my local hospice outreach team (who are fab) and very closely monitored by my gp and tx team.

Thanks again for all for the loving, kind, supportive comments and messages, they honestly do bring tears to my eyes to feel so overwhelmed by love. Lots of love 

Friday, 7 December 2012

Transplant Clinic - Good News!

Facebook post, Wednesday night:

Hello all. Finally home, those who warned me about the exhausting day - you were not wrong. I feel I could sleep for a week lol. 
I had the best outcome possible, I have been put to the absolute top of the list for my blood group/height etc. so if those perfect matching lungs come up, they are mine :) they offered to keep me in and wait for lungs there, but I explained how I like being at home and a little picture of Milly and Tink showed the Doctor (the legend - Dr Carby) exactly why I want to be here lol. For those of you who know what Ecmo is, I have been given that option if I get any worse I must contact them immediately. In the mean time I have to just wait by my phone, ultimately I'm still waiting for the rarest lungs due to my height and blood group etc but if they come now, they have my name on ;) 
Now I intend on sleeping for about a week, so if I don't reply to anyone it's because I'm in the lovely, relaxing land of 'nod.' 
Oh and I just wanted to quickly add how amazing it was to see George Compton today, she's on Kalydeco and is doing soooo well!! She's actually improved lung function from about 12% to 24%!! No more oxygen, no wheelchair she looked great, not breathless whilst chatting to me and the difference from when I saw her a year ago is staggering!! :) We had a little catch up, which was lovely and she's been able to come off the transplant list as her quality of life has improved so much, she's happy now and feels a transplant isn't necessary now which men's kalydeco really is doing amazing things for her. :) oh and for those who may be wondering why I can't have kalydeco it's for CF people with a certain gene type and I don't have that gene unfortunately!
Anyway, thanks for all the messages and comments guys, I will read and hopefully reply as soon as I'm not asleep *falls asleep* lol... Love to you all ♥

Facebook post, Thursday:

Hello everyone, a slightly emotional Kerry here - I am utterly overwhelmed by all the supportive messages from everyone regarding yesterday's outcome - Thank you thank you thank you!! It's all I can say, I'm so amazed by the love from all and the amount of people who told me that they were thinking of me yesterday, it means so much and you probably don't realise how much the smallest little comment, or the biggest essay message means, either way it means a lot and you've made my smile brighter, yes - you :) thank YOU!

I will be writing a more detailed blog over the next few days about exactly everything that was said and how it all went yesterday as soon as I feel up to it (still very tired) including all the tests, details and the conversations I had with the various amazing members of staff at Harefield.
One thing I can say is I am so so glad I made the decision to go there for my transplant, it seems they will bend over backwards and take risks on people who are as sick as me, I told them about my high temperatures and high CRP levels (infection markers) etc. But they were still happy to offer me lungs, these also offered me the option to wait out for lungs there were I can be monitored and looked after (as they were slightly concerned regarding Pap's way of doing things, like expecting me to go clinic every single week for simply a blood test and to collect another week of IV's) actually this concerned them because they want me doing as little as possible, yet a full tiring day, 3 hour round trip to see a doctor who says 'yes Kerry you are still unwell, see you next week' they've said they will speak to my team about that, so hopefully sort something out because I can't keep attending clinic every week like that, that alone could kill me down to exhaustion!! But that aside, they respected my decision about wanting to be at home if the worst case scenario happens and they also offered me ECMO to keep me alive should I need it. For those of you who watched Kirstie Tancock's documentary 'Love on the transplant list' (if you didn't watch it, WHY?!) Anyway, she ended up on ECMO after things took a very bad turn for her and she became extremely poorly, thankfully it kept her alive then her lungs came at literally the last minute and for those who don't know her, or her story, shes doing amazingly well and is a great friend of mine :) So if this happens to me and I basically nose-dive downhill I have that option and it's great to know I have hope and it won't necessarily mean goodbye Kerry.

Without the positive backing I felt I received yesterday from the legend that is Dr Carby, I feel safe in their hands and had I not gone to Harefield, I think, well I am pretty confident I'd be off the list now, as they would have deactivated me I would probably be 'being made comfortable' and I would most certainly be facing an early grave at just 21.

Obviously, I'm not stupid, I am positive but also very realistic, just because I am boosted up the list, it doesn't mean there are readily available lungs and there is still a chance I won't make it as I am still very sick. But that 'tiny glimmer of hope' I'd been speaking about in my recent posts, well it now feels slightly larger and I now feel I can grasp it with my hands, not just my fingertips and the light at the end of this horrid tunnel seems more visible now :)

Currently, I'm just resting up as I'm still very, very exhausted from yesterday, it was extremely tiring and I still feel like I could sleep for a week lol! But I'm back on here now and I am ready to start making some bracelets again and enjoy my Christmas Month! Thank you again for the love and Happy Xmas ;) xxx

Tuesday, 4 December 2012

Update - Still Very Poorly.

This is mainly an update taken from facebook on Sunday, but it has a few adaptations:

Hello all. Wish I had something good to say but it seems I've taken steps backwards. I thought there was a tiny glimmer of hope I was improving, but then when I woke the following day and I was extremely unwell yet again and my body just wanted to give up that day, so I decided to sort of let it and I slept and slept most of the day (and night.) 

I'm feeling very poorly a bit blurry eyed from all my meds and general grogginess so this may or may not make sense. I think I may be feeling slightly worse than I did before. Its hard to describe, I'm so exhausted and weak, like I don't have the ability to hold myself up and regarding my chest, I feel like I'm 'drowning on the inside by my phlegm' it's horrible and hard to comprehend, basically it's just there clogging me up and blocking my airways making the ability to breathe so limited. Add to that all the chest pains I'm having along with my cracked rib makes my breathing just so restricted. 
I'm so weak and exhausted. Josh is having to pick me up and carry me everywhere at the moment, like to the toilet, upstairs to bed because I'm just too weak to walk at the moment, although when I can walk or move on my own, I do because it's important to keep strength and as much body muscle as possible for transplant recovery.
But currently it feels like my body doesn't have the energy to carry it's weight, if only I hadn't gained the 3 stone lol... At least I can still laugh through this, if I don't laugh and I don't smile, what can I do? Cry? well yes I've done a bit of that too, a lot but I'm still smiling :) dwelling on negativity will only bring me further down, in mind as well as body so that's not what I want to do but it's getting ever harder to keep telling everyone I'm fine and I'm going to get through this, when in all honesty, now I'm not even 100% sure I can do it, but as long as I'm on the transplant list, as long as there is 1% in my lungs, a beat in my heart and a sparkle behind my eyes - I will fight, with every. single. part. of. my. body. 

I don't really know what to say other than I'm sorry I can't bring yo
u better news, I have my appointment at Harefield for my 6 month check up on Wednesday, hoping they will see the massive, rapid decline I've been on since my last appointment. It sounds morbid, but Josh and I are having a 'Christmas month' where we give each other our presents throughout the month just in case I don't get to Xmas, or if I get my transplant and spend Christmas in hospital, but if and I'm positive I will still be here, I have gifts from the rest of my family and friends to open on the day :)

Thank you so much for those who are keeping me in their thoughts, praying for me and wishing I pull through this, I appreciate every single message/comment, all the love is phenomenal and brings me to tears, of joy obviously! Trying so hard to keep my spirits up and stay positive, I'm realistic too though so that's why we have Xmas month, hehe. This is how we stick our two fingers up at CF, stupid flu and even more stupid pneumonia - you can throw obstacle after obstacle at me, I will just alter my life and *sticks tongue out* say nerrr.

Love, love, love ♥
Thank you all, I love you all and I promise I will get through this and do you all proud.

It's now Monday night and I'm sad to say today once again wasn't great, but I'm still here :) and I will continue to be here for a very, very long time.

Before I go - I would just like to say a big Hello and a massive Thank You to Steven Scaffardi, he is the author of 'The Drought' which is a book I'm currently reading, it's hilarious! He sent me a signed copy which is awesome :D and inside it said for me to keep smiling and keep laughing, well the book is certainly keeping me laughing and those who know me, know I always try to keep the smile on my face :) so it was a perfect little message.
He's also now following my blog!! All I can say is - get the book. Nice and easy way for you to buy it - If you click the picture under my 'What I'm reading' tab, at the top of my blog, it will take you to the amazon page where you can get your copy and you must get it!

My Signed Copy :) :)

Thanks for reading.
Merry Christmas Month :)