Saturday, 4 June 2011

Home and Reunited with Foxxy :)

I've actually been home since Tuesday but I didn't have much to say. I was quite content in hospital this time, which was shocking for me (and everyone else lol) normally by the week stage, I am ready for a fight with anyone, tearing my hair out with boredom and feeling so fed up I want to hit self-destruct. I'd be ringing family/Josh crying saying I was fed up, I'd be horrible to talk to on chat because I would just be constantly moaning..
This time, was really different and I don't think I moaned much at all, except for the pain perhaps!

I was actually fine, I listened to loads of music which kept me occupied, had lots of chats on facebook/msn, kept seeing Josh and Foxxy on webcam, I had great phone signal for the first time ever, so spent lots of time on my phone, facebooking and general other amusing things.
I think the pain from the PEG took over from boredom a little, I could still walk around, make cups of teas etc. But I think it definitely took my mind off other things.
However by the weekend I was ready to go, I'd been put on 3 IV antibiotics, for the first time, which seemed to do me good, I felt less breathless, coughed a lot less (which with the pain in my stomach, was a blessing in disguise!) and just had a lot of energy, too much energy to be cooped up in hospital for 2 weeks. Annoyingly, it was bank holiday Monday so I had to wait until Tuesday to drop the 'can I go home' bomb.

It was funny, I told anyone who would listen, physio/dietician/nurses that I was going home Tuesday. No matter what. I said I had planned all the reasons why I would be going home and how it would be more beneficial for me to be at home -
Firstly, eating, I don't enjoy hospital food and during a period in my life where gaining weight is vital, spending a few weeks without food I'd eat is pointless.
Secondly, I felt really well, too well in fact, I thought somebody would make better use of my bed, I know how annoying it is when you are waiting for a bed, especially feeling so well, so I'd have felt guilty staying when somebody could have been sat at home, begging, like I usually am, for a bed to become available.
& Finally. The stay had gone okay, normally when I get to the two week mark, I'm so fed up, I swear to myself I will avoid it like the plague, which includes playing down how unwell I am to avoid being admitted - Never a good thing. Whereas, I have left relatively happy, so when it comes to the next 'we think you should come into hospital,' I will think, look back to the last stay, decide how it went, then make my decision. If I was told, I needed to come in, after the week I was content, so I wouldn't say no.

Anyway, all the people I spoke to 'reported' to the doctor our conversations, what they thought was best for me - physio was very happy with my chest, dietician was happy with my weight gain (WHICH WAS 4 POUNDS BY THE WAY!!!!) and we arranged a home care plan until my feed delivery arrived. &The nurses totally understood my reasoning.
Basically, I was ready, all guns blazing, to fight my corner against the consultant. But I was shocked to find, a registrar doctor came into my room and said "Hello Kerry, I'm here on behalf of your Dr.. Would you be happy if I said you can go home today?" Biggest smile on my face ever gave away my answer :D YES! So hope I went.

&Here I am now, unfortunately IV's are similar to that Bullseye show in the sense of 'look what you could have won.'
It's basically like 2 weeks of false hope, you think to yourself WOW I feel great, the IV's are fantastic. Then as soon as you stop them, literally for me it's 2-3 days later, i.e now :( you realise that it's a temporary high, a lot of people who are at the same stage as me are on permanent IV's, however, at the moment this is not really an option for me, when I am on IV's despite feeling well, my lung function tends to drop, at the moment while I can still function off them, I don't want to have constant drops in lung function, when it is this low already, a small drop could become quite significant.

You know I always like positivity and happiness in my blog, there is one thing I am very glad of and that was being reunited with my little baby Fox.
Of course in hospital, I missed Josh, Mum and all the rest of my family (and poker grrr!) But they could come and visit me, they could speak to me on the phone, but I could only see Fox on webcam!
So the moment I came in the door she went absolutely insane, I've never seen her so excited to see somebody in her little life, she was squeaking, jumping up and down, running between my legs and this carried on for a good 10-15 minutes, I couldn't sit down because she kept jumping at me trying to lick my face and with my tube pain, I was nervous!
I missed my Princess so much!!

I'll leave you with some pics of Fox on webcam :).



mogzi said...

Lovely post Kerry, your dog is adorable! Glad your home and the feeding tube is gaining you some weight! And glad you had a pretty good hospital stay! It will be so worth it! Take care xx

Gemma said...

Aw you are reunited with your baby, bet she missed mummy! I love the fact she is eying up Joshs cup of tea in the last photo! xx